Category Archives: Episodes

What the Force Does

the force

“I smell something. Do you smell that? It’s in this general region right here. Weird”

The Force.

What does it do?
What doesn’t it do?
Why is it so finicky, changing from wielder to wielder?
Bonus question: what does it have to do with girls’ night out?

We’re back to catalog the does and don’ts of the Force. Cause it’s confusing and we’re here to help our listeners make sense of the galaxy.

Tune in to find out why the alternate title is “Tauntaun Throat Sausage”

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Episode 20 – Darth Vader: The Machine

Darth Vader GlovesIn this stunning conclusion to our Darth Vader two-parter, we get to the core of what makes Vader tick – seriously his suit probably does tick a little. When it comes to the complex mechanisms keeping that quivering Christmas ham alive on the inside, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Parts that include some pretty cool gloves.

I mean what did you expect? All that space diabeetus really takes its toll on your circulation. Luckily glove technology is so advanced that Vader was able to lead a somewhat normal, albeit excruciatingly painful life.

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Episode 19 – Darth Vader: The Man

Darth Vader's Meditation Chamber

Whatcha thinkin bout?

Our lack of Darth Vader discussion was disturbing, so we decided to bust out a two-parter!

Join us for part 1 and dive deep into the personhood of Darth Vader.

If it weren’t for that nice man on Tatooine finally testing that poor kid’s blood for juvenile diabeetus, we wouldn’t have a story and you wouldn’t have a definitive answer for what the plural of ‘menace’ is.

Check out Patrick’s show Space Wars: Revenge of the Recaps running this December in Chicago. Be sure to like it on Facebook as well.

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Episode 18 – Lando: Works Every Time

lando

Been sitting on this alternate version for far too long

He knows when to hold em, knows when to fold em, knows when to don a silk cape, knows when to  get it dry cleaned.

Join us and learn about the man and the mystery behind Lando Calrissian. We also give the Marvel Lando comics our stamp of new-canon approval. We know we’re not a Star Wars review podcast. We’re altering the deal. Pray we don’t alter it any further.

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Episode 17 – All Things Stormtrooper

This man is responsible for the most Stormtrooper deaths out of anyone.

This man is responsible for the most Stormtrooper deaths out of anyone.

After a months-long embedded assignment within the Stormtrooper academy, we’re back! Inspired by a listener question, in this episode, we explore the good, the bad and the useless Stormtrooper lore.

Including:

  • The waning numbers of clones within the ranks
  • A utility belt that puts Batman to shame
  • Stormtrooper taxonomy
  • Is that a Thermos of soup on their back?
  • The real reason why they’re such bad shots

DISCLAIMER: This episode contains mild Marvel Star Wars spoilers and a lot of Force Awakens conjecture that’s been rendered obsolete since trailer 3

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Episode 16 – Shakespeare and Star Wars: An Evening with Orion Couling

The Star Warsificatioin of MacBeth: An Evening with Orion Couling

What do you get when a Star Wars dork goes to town on Shakespeare’s MacBeth? Meet Orion Couling: the closest thing to a real life Jedi Master (or Sith Lord?) we’ll probably come across. Listen in as Nick, Patrick and Alex’s force ghost grills Orion about everything he’s working on: MacSith, general combat choreography, and his theater company: E.D.G.E.  And by “grill”, we mean turn the mic and swoon like the fanboys we are.

Rejected episode titles:
A Skywalker by Any Other Name
Something Sith-ed This Way Comes
Lando, Lando Wherefore Art Thou, Lando
Out, Damned Jar Jar

Learn more about Orion and E.D.G.E at edgeoforion.com
If you’re going to be in Chicago between now and June 14th, come see MacSith!
Otherwise, contact Orion to demand that he take the show to you!

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(Just pretend the crackles in the audio come from the playback on vinyl: the way our podcast was meant to be heard)

Episode 15 – Is Leia A Disney Princess Now?

Disney Princess Leia

Here’s the one where we wax philosophic about the Disney acquisition. Does Leia meet the criteria for being a Disney Princess? Where does her character go from here in the Disney-verse? Are our collective childhoods safe from Mickey’s gloved hands?
Somewhere is there a clone of Walt Disney locked in a basement writing every screenplay for the next 10 years?

These are things we lie awake at night thinking about.

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Episode 14 – Kashyyykonomics: The Hidden Side of the Galaxy

star wars freakonomics

Make it rain?

Did the “Dark Times” thrive with unprecedented wealth and prosperity?
Did currency differences hinder trade between galactic sectors?
Was Jar Jar a fit candidate to be your accountant?

These are questions we’ll attempt to answer in today’s episode of Freako…erm Loose Canon!

And please someone help us define what conscription means!

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Episode 13 – What’s A Dark Jedi?

dark jedi

Do you like Bright Eyes?

Are you Force sensitive? Are you kinda moody? Do you dance to the beat of your own Yub Nub, and apprenticeships just really cramp your style? Come join the Dark Jedi!

…or don’t whatever, who cares.

Come with us and learn why some Jedi just want to watch the world burn. Why some do not sew. And why some [insert 3rd nerd pandering analogy here].

“Loose Canon: the comic book / sci-fi version of Cabin In The Woods”

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Episode 12 – How The Sarlacc Works

The Sarlacc: Coming to a Toilet Near You

Photo credit: http://www.toiletsarlacc.com/

As if it wasn’t horrible enough to feature man-eating, religious zealot teddy bears in Return of the Jedi, they had to throw in a man-eating pit too. Oh, but that’s just what happens on the surface (literally). Join us while we deconstruct the inner-workings (literally) of the sarlacc pit. Who knows, you might think it’s just the cozy getaway you were looking for. So come on in, there’s a spot for you (literally).

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