Category Archives: Episodes

Episode 12 – How The Sarlacc Works

The Sarlacc: Coming to a Toilet Near You

Photo credit: http://www.toiletsarlacc.com/

As if it wasn’t horrible enough to feature man-eating, religious zealot teddy bears in Return of the Jedi, they had to throw in a man-eating pit too. Oh, but that’s just what happens on the surface (literally). Join us while we deconstruct the inner-workings (literally) of the sarlacc pit. Who knows, you might think it’s just the cozy getaway you were looking for. So come on in, there’s a spot for you (literally).

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Episode 11 – Who Is Boba Fett?

Boba Fett Unmasked!State-of-the-art gadgets and armor? Check.
Badass attitude? Check.
Sweet cargo sweat pants? Check.

Boba Fett is the complete package. Join us as we explore the man, the myth, the legend all the while trying not to offend the “Cult of Boba.” Seriously though, if you’re adhering strictly to canon, Boba Fett…leaves a little something to be desired. Luckily our name isn’t Tight Canon, am I right guys?

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The Loose Canon Holiday Special

Star Wars Holiday Special

Well it’s that time of year folks! A time for rushing home to be with loved ones, ingesting mind altering substances and gathering ’round with all the townsfolk to become one with a tree. Nope, it’s not Christmas at the Loose Canon household. We’re talking about Life Day, the annual Wookiee tradition on Kashyyyk depicted in the 1978 psychedelic train wreck that was the Star Wars Holiday Special.

Join us in revelry as we figure out whether or not the weird stuff we witnessed during the show actually happened or if our minds just fabricated the whole experience. Seriously, we could have just made this all up and you wouldn’t know the difference.

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Episode 10 – What Is Canon?

George Lucas enjoying team building exercises with some new co-workers.

Do you know the 5 tiers of Star Wars canon? Well forget all of that and join the trio for the last episode of season one. The boys get all meta on your ass as they attempt to justify their own existence in a post-Expanded Universe world. Did the Disney Death Star ‘splode your fandom this year? Did George Lucas hate the EU anyway? It’s not cause for alarm, folks. Listen to the boys explain why you should embrace the new Legends stamp. The Lucasfilm ‘Story Group’ can go about their business. Move along.

Also hear what’s to come for our intrepid hosts. They have a job to do, and they’re not nearly finished. Plus Obi-Wan basically endorses Loose Canon in A New Dawn. So that’s cool.

Links:
Official Star Wars Legends Announcement
Doom-n-gloom Verge article with EU timeline
Star Wars Report gave us all hope.
Another great EU primer from A.V. Club

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Episode 9 – How Bounty Hunters Work

Bounty Hunters

Oh shit! Did Bossk just hear me say that?

Bounty Hunters. This was Alex’s most eagerly anticipated episode to date, but you’ll find out it’s for the completely wrong reasons. Listen as the boys give a rundown of just who the “scum” hanging out with Darth Vader are in The Empire Strikes Back. Learn the gentlemanly, albeit loose, code of conduct amongst bounty hunters. Scratch your head at the prospect of seeking a spider web floating in space (Kud’ar Mub’at the Assembler) for neutral ground.

Come for the Bossk jokes, stay for the disappointment at having very brief coverage of Boba Fett (don’t worry, he’ll get his own episode).

Bounty Hunters

“While you’re here, could you scratch my leg? I gotta itch like something fierce.”

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Episode 8 – How Sith Work

Sith

Sup, bro.

Meet the most exclusive club in the galaxy: the Sith. With their mysterious origins as exiled Jedi, the Sith went through long growing pains, until finally reaching their stride. The boys go into detail about what it takes to make it as a Sith apprentice, why the ‘rule of two’ worked so well and how the greatest trick the Sith ever played was convincing the galaxy they were irrelevant.

Join us on the dark side, there will be cake.

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Episode 7 – There’s Something About Endor

Endor

Don’t leave your children unattended with Ewoks

Running a galactic empire is hard! Stress cracks start to show by the beginning of Return of the Jedi, and sure enough a cunning race of creatures is there to exploit it.

Join the boys as they discuss the cutest, most blood thirsty and most “easily religious” teddy bears of the galaxy. Beyond the Ewoks, the Battle of Endor shows how the Sith fell to their greatest enemy yet: bureaucracy.

Many Bothans died to give us the Emperor’s Instagrams.

Endor

As promised, Mt. Sorrow

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Episode 6 – How Droids Work

Droids

A droid being drawn and quartered, no big deal

To wipe or not to wipe? No this episode isn’t about personal hygiene in the galaxy, it’s about droids. To be honest, the role of droids in the galaxy makes the boys a tad uncomfortable. Were they mere tools meant only to benefit the master, or were they true, albeit inorganic beings sentenced to a life of toil and eventual dismemberment? Maybe by the end of this episode, you’ll be ready to rid the universe of “meatbags.”

Bonus points for those who recognize the theme from our end credits.

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Episode 5 – The Huttcast

Jabba the Hutt

This is love.

The Hutts: those obese, rascal-riding slugs that gross out the galaxy. It’s a good idea to avoid the Hutts if possible. They have their own chunk of the galaxy carved out for themselves for a reason. The boys offer up their advice for how to deal with a Hutt should you go up against one, but discover just how dangerous it is to do so.

Our sincerest apologies go out to our listeners from Las Vegas, Ohio, Detroit, any fans of Ty Pennington and people still living with their parents.

…ok just America in general. Sorry America.

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Episode 4 – How To Go Fast In The Galaxy

Hyperspace

But seriously how do you put out engine fires?

Space: The infinite frontier. Or something. But still, space…it’s really big! How do all those people zip all around the galaxy so easily? How do down-trodden aliens (and only one human apparently) rip through crazy, chaotic and dangerous podracing courses? How does one not only go fast…but Hyperspace-fast? On this episode of Loose Canon the boys talk about how the mechanics of such things in the Star Wars universe work, and how those concepts relate to some familiar scenes from the movies. Don’t worry, they’ll take it slow with you.

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